Snooki Has Sex Toy Plans for Miley Cyrus

Snooki thinks that she and Miley Cyrus should be best friends and have the sluttiest Christmas ever. The pint-sized Guido came to Miley’s defense saying that she sees a lot of her gnarled trollish self in Miley. Snooki believes that the two clam carriers could really do some damage this holiday season, buying rubber dicks and sexually assaulting Santa:

“I feel like I would get her a lot of Christmas presents that involve vibrators, some sex toys, and go to a stripper store and buy really hot stripper outfits. Because she loves being naked, and I love seeing her naked because she’s hot…I would buy her some tight pleather pants and a spiky bra Madonna style. She could walk around like that. Maybe sit on Santa’s lap, give Santa a boner. She could twerk on Santa.”

I think these two hard partying shebangs hanging out is a great idea. In fact, I think their friendship should be made into an ABC Family Christmas film called “I Gave Santa Gonorrhea”.