Snooki Can Smell Booze In Her Tit Milk

What’s anatomically left of Original Snooki has given up alcohol after drinking so much she could smell the booze in her breast milk. There’s an image that will leave you not hungry for 72 hours. Snooki has tried to give up her dirty drunk whore ways and her original face since pushing out her womb weasel Lorenzo. But she occasionally still let loose like it was 2008 with her gal pals. All those years of living off a diet of tequila and cum took their toll. The consequences showed up in her milk jugs. She says,

“My milk was so full of alcohol, I could have used it to start a bonfire in the yard. I could have cleaned the toilet with it…These days, the only bottles I care about are full of formula or milk.”

Evocative. It’s true that drugs and alcohol can pass on to a baby through the mother’s milk. But come on, what fucking hope does this kid have anyhow? He’s going to grow up to be a fist-pumping Guido douche just like his parents. Why not start him out early on tit milk poppers and shots of Jaeger leche? You are only prolonging the inevitable. You can’t run from genetics.