Paris Hilton’s Brother Claims Lindsay Lohan Had Him Pummeled

There’s no way to lose in a story where either a Hilton or a Lohan is a lying sack of shit. It’s the classic win-win. Paris Hilton’s little brother, Baron Von Douchery, got his ass beat up at Lindsay Lohan’s mansion party in Miami where Lindsay is staying trying to keep clean and attend art shows. Both of which sound like made-up reasons. Baron claims he made remarks about Lindsay and her new boyfriend, let’s just call him Cocaine Stupid Face for now, so Lindsay ordered a male friend of hers to kick the shit out of Baron. According to Baron, Lindsay stood by and laughed and egged her friend on in the pummeling. I have no idea if that’s true or not, but I do know it’s incredibly fun to imagine. Fearing a loss of his mealticket, Michael Lohan is rounding up witnesses to say that Lindsay wasn’t even at the party when the beat down took place. He’s also found witnesses to state that Lindsay has never smoked crack and did not appear in Freaky Friday and that Michael Lohan was an attentive father. If you’re looking to buy witnesses, you could do far worse than Florida.

Here’s Lindsay in a swimsuit at her Miami mansion thinking about art and staying sober and ordering her next hit.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN