Lauren Silverman And Simon Cowell Are Just A Couple of Sweethearts

There’s nothing more romantic than a Christmas beach stroll with your buddy’s wife who you knocked up over the summer. I’m sure her seven year old son understands that this Christmas mommy is away because the rich dude from the X-Factor made a baby inside of her and can’t be near him as part of the divorce settlement agreement. Not to get all Holden Caulfield, but it’s pretty amazing how we fuck over kids just to get laid. Like banging Carmen Electra on the side of your last hot girlfriend wasn’t enough for you in your 50’s? Fuck, get laid. Screw a thousand hot women. I would if I could. Just stop railing other people’s wives and moms. Yeah, it’s her fault too. But she probably believes in romance and fairytales, if not your offshore holdings. Your’e a man. Act like one. Draw a line in the sand somewhere, even if you have to draw it with your dick. I hope Neptune sends a shark to eat the both of them.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI