Khloe Kardashian Files For Divorce

I know what you’re thinking. What now for the stomach cancer charity that donated no money to stomach cancer? Exactly. This divorce is going to have ramifications well past the special Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode where Khloe cries and coins gush out of Kris Jenner’s vagina as she imagines the ratings boom. Khloe filed for divorce today, citing irreconcilable differences. Among those differences was Lamar preferring crack and skinny street whores to the loss of sensation in his legs each night Khloe rolled around on top of him screeching like the world’s largest parrot about being a pretty girl. It’s always the little things that go unspoken that kill a marriage. The divorce is expected to go about as smoothly as any financial proceedings involving remarkably greedy, self-interested, bastards can.