Jon Gosselin Is Still Stuck on His Horrible Wife

Jon Gosselin called his ex wife and fellow horrible person Kate Gosselin all kinds of yucky names. The two assholes rose to fame a few years ago when Kate bio-mechanically squeezed out a litter of eight pups like a suburban labrador retriever. The two starred in Jon and Kate + 8, which was a worse show than the one on the Health Channel that shows colonoscopies set to Peter, Paul, and Mary songs. The Gosselin couple later split in a very nasty divorce and Jon is now working as a waiter.who can’t seem to let his ex-wife quite go. Jon says of his former bride,

“Everyone thinks I’m out to get Kate. I don’t give a fuck! What would I get out of it? Everyone knows she’s an asshole, you know what I mean? I don’t have to — she’s proven that! Kate wants to still be on television. She’s now digging into the past, because that’s what sells. Too late, honey. No one gives a fuck, really.”

Well, nobody gives a fuck but you obviously. Once you stop talking about her constantly, Kate will disappear from consciousness, maybe even for real. She might actually just be a horrible figment of collective imaginations that only exists if we let her. She’s like Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Time for the losers to finally confront her in her most bone-chilling form.