Toronto Mayor Smoked Crack, But Only Because He Was Drunk

Here’s what you do when you’re the Mayor and somebody accuses you of smoking crack on a video tape but doesn’t have the actual video tape. Deny. Then, when random reporters say they’ve seen you on the video tape smoking crack, but they won’t release the video tape, keep on denying that shit. Finally, when the Chief of Police says he’s seen you on the video tape himself smoking crack, just tell everybody that it’s possible you smoked crack, but you were too drunk to remember:

“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. There have been times when I’ve been in a drunken stupor. That’s why I want to see the tape. I want everyone in the city to see this tape. I don’t even recall there being a tape or video. I want to see the state that I was in.”  — Toronto Mayor Rob Ford to reporters today

I’d do the same in allegations of rape and also cheating on your taxes. In fact, for just about any misstep in life, being plastered should be a valid excuse. Mrs. Tompkins, I’m sorry I fucked your cat. I had one too many gin and tonics. When did we become a society where we judge drunk people for their actions?

“I feel like I got 1,000 pounds off my back. I felt like I had to say it. It is what it is. I feel two inches high right now but I needed to deal with it. I am not going to quit or take a leave.”

Hell no you’re not going to quit. You were drunk. It’s like being under the spell of a warlock or hypnotized at a comedy show. You are not responsible for your actions. Tell the public to back the fuck off before you start drinking again and authorize the changing of your city name to Sweet Crack Canadaville.

Photo Credit: Getty