Katty Perry’s Album Is A Biohazard In Australia

Katy Perry’s new album Prism is being called a bio-hazard in Australia and not just because it is a steaming pile of audible dookie. It seems that copies of her CD come with little seeds that the buyer is encouraged to plant to “spread the light”. The CDs pressed in Australia have native seeds, but the imported copies have seeds not indigenous to the land down under. The problem is that if some teen girl who thinks Roar is the best song ever plants the non-native seeds, it could have catastrophic ecological effects. Dead koalas will litter the streets of the nation or continent or whatever the hell it is. The good news is that after she’s killed a few million wallabies and little joeys, Katy will hold a benefit concert for some Australian wildlife preserve where the skeletons of the marsupials that used to roam the planet can be seen by schoolchildren. People magazine will write a cover story about how Katy Perry has never been happier, again. And John Mayer will start nailing Katy’s sister. Nature will be back in balance.