This Kid Is Still Locked Out of the National Zoo

At first I must admit, the idea of shutting down the government and saving some coin seemed like a decent idea. But when I learned they’re going to be paying for everything retroactively when settled, then hell, it’s no different than taking the bottle away from Drunk Uncle Rick one night a year and pretending it’s going to save his liver. And then there’s this kid. This poor fucking kid who just wants to see the bears who probably haven’t been fed in two weeks. The grizzlies are easily into the African habitat by now eating gnus and shit and Congress still won’t let this kid in with an experienced armed guide to see Mother Nature’s handiwork. It’s time for Congress to end this shutdown and get back to the business of wasting shit and ruining stuff. Life is easier when everybody lives up to their cliches.