Ke$ha’s Vag Is Haunted By Smelly Ghost

Ke$ha claims that her vagina is haunted by a stinky ghost. On Jimmy Kimmel Live she revealed that a phantom took up residence in her snatch while filming a video in Alaska. The revelation came after she went to a hypnotherapist, presumably because she was having feminine hygiene problems. Maybe an ectoplasmic UTI? When Kimmel joked that it’s a more common problem than people realize, Ke$ha said,

“You’re laughing, but it’s very serious, it’s a problem…It sounds ridiculous, but it all honest I believe in all this crazy shit. I believed I had dead people in me.”

The notion of being an apparition trapped between the living and the dead seems horrific enough. The idea that you might be banished to eternal captivity inside of Kehsa’s lady meat is just too heinous to contemplate. What kind of Karmic misdeed must you commit in this life to find yourself banished thusly? Maybe if it’s Hitler or Kim Jong Il or the person who convinced fat women to wear leggings it’d be deserved. But if any poor soul randomly faces confinement to Kesha’s fetid quarters in the afterlife, we truly have a merciless God.