Alec Baldwin Writes Whiny Letter About Paparazzi

Alec Baldwin, everyone’s favorite racist drunk uncle, wrote a letter to the local East Hampton paper bitching about the paparazzi. Apparently, the bloated walking whiskey bottle had some run ins with photographers and other celebrity paps in Amagansett and East Hampton. He says that they are harassing his young yoga instructor wife and baby at places like Ralph Lauren and other stores around town. So, he did what any old guy who doesn’t know that no one reads newspapers anymore would do and wrote an open letter to The East Hampton Star. Baldwin says,

“What has gone wrong with our society that this vermin has spawned in East Hampton? These are not New Yorkers that have slithered out here. They are home grown. They are locals. And they obviously have no idea about how to live in a community like ours. I hope that our local government will address this issue, which has nothing to do with freedom of the press and everything to do with criminal harassment, abuse, and authorizing the intimidation and stalking of one group in our society while protecting the basic rights of all others.”

While normal people might appeal to their government to fix pot holes or fight crime, Baldwin doesn’t want people taking pictures of him. His ability to be rich and famous and earn massive bucks from Capital One credit card commercials without having a bunch of short dudes with cameras following him around is really a Constitutional crisis. I hope the Supreme Court takes this up in their next session. Somebody needs to fix Alec Baldwin problems!