Tiernan Cowling Can’t Possibly Be Legal

There’s this guy who lives down my block who appears as a blue dot on that online sexual offenders registry. Just another one of those mustached guys in Cardigan sweaters littered all over that site. One day, I saw the blue dot coming toward me on the same side of the street and I thought, man, this is my chance to finally let this guy know how I feel about the disturbing charges listed beneath his quirky smiling picture. I really work myself into an interior tizzy as he nears, I mean like all pumped up to lay out some Dark Knight level justice. He looks toward me and says, ‘Hey’, and I say, ‘Hey’, and the blue dot goes right on past me. This is how mind controlling sinister this sneaky mofo is.

Here’s Tiernan Cowling, an Aussie model who looks like she’d get you sent away to a place that sounds like a resort name but is really a horrible prison. Don’t worry, I checked, she’s old enough to be stripping at your bachelor party when the modeling gigs dry up.

Photo Credit: Villanueva Stone