Joanna Krupa Doesn’t Know How To Fake Party

Outside of how to score blow in the world’s 20 hottest resort cities, it’s hard to imagine there’s anything Paris Hilton could teach anybody about anything. But I think she could teach Joanna Krupa about how to get only fake wasted when she’s the paid hostess at a nightclub event. You don’t actually chug the booze, a sip or two maybe, but you don’t get wasted. When you start doing lap dances and showing off your tits and pantomiming fellatio with foreign objects, you need to be in control of your faculties. At some point in the evening, the really wealthy guy with thick eyebrows is going to offer you a large amount of money to go around the world and you need to be able to haggle.

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