Tiger Wood’s Mansion Sinks

Tons of people came down on Tiger Woods for banging a couple or few dozen women not his wife. Also, for texting girls during the middle of tournaments about wanting to fuck them so hard they split in half. His wife had the only valid reason to be pissed at him and he gave her a shitload of cash to help her feel whole again. I side with the people who say only a higher power can judge a guy like Tiger. At least it’s clear that they understand their place in this world. Plus, sometimes, that higher power will actually carry out a sentence. Which might explain why a giant sinkhole is forming under Tiger’s Jupiter Island insane fucking $60 million mansion. When Tiger noticed the floor in his majestic dining room bowing, he had workers pull up the foundation only to discover the soft Sunshine State soil was caving in beneath the home. Tiger suggested choking the sinkhole like the slut that it is and filling it with his big black cock. But, apparently, you can’t get a permit for that in Florida. Though Lindsay Vonn quickly forgave him for suggesting it, and then reiterated what an amazing man Tiger is.