Here’s the Chick Who Wouldn’t Sell Oprah A Fucking Purse

The Swiss Paula Deen, the woman who wouldn’t show Oprah Winfrey the expensive purses in her Zurich store, has finally been exposed. Meh, I couldn’t be bothered to look up her actual name, but suffice it to say, she’s a cross between Bull Connor and the plantation owner played by Leonardo DiCaprio in Django Unchained. Our long international nightmare is over. In typical Swiss fashion, everybody in the entire country of Switzerland apologized to Oprah, everyone duly admitting that had they known she was an important black person and not a broke-ass stealing ghetto crack smoking black person, they would’ve let her shop for the high end purses. Apologies accepted, everyone in Switzerland went back to work making clocks and hiding stolen gold from Jewish Holocaust victims.