Fuck, No, America, Mexico Got Fatter Than Us

It’s true. Mexico officially passed the U.S. on the adult obesity chart. If you don’t believe me, just look at that picture above of some random fat Mexican women. I’d say it’s indisputable. How great at being super fat has Mexico become? They’ve quadrupled their obese hombres and señoras rate in the past twenty-five years. Their diabetic death numbers are now surpassing their deaths from drug cartel murders. That’s like saying you threw for more career yards than Dan Marino. Fatness is now their Brett Favre. We’re being passed in this world in yet another measuring stick of success and nobody seems to give a damn. Well, Mississippi still cares. Their obesity rate is still higher than Mexico. But unless they can convince the rest of America to have a thick slice of mud pie for linner (that’s the meal between lunch and dinner), we’re never seeing fat gold again.