Amanda Bynes Parents Want Custody Since She’s Fucking Nuts And All

Amanda Bynes’ parents will go to court today to try and prove that the former child star needs to be in their care because she is, you know, fucking krazy with a K. We told you about Bynes’ being picked up for starting a fire in an old lady’s driveway and dowsing herself and her dog in gasoline a couple of days ago. Right now Bynes is on a temporary psychiatric hold but her parent’s say she needs full time care. They will have to prove three things: 1) She can’t provide for her own well being 2) She can’t take care of her finances and 3) They can provide a stable home. Well, 1 and 2 are pretty fucking easy to prove. What’s the last year been if not her showing that she’s baby eating crazy and can’t take care of herself. The parents say she has schizophrenia but refuses treatment because she thinks she’s just fine…which just proves that she’s crazy. However, I question if they can provide a good home.

Any fucking parent that lets their kid be a professional actor is a bad parent. It’s somewhere on the spectrum of child abuse between the “sorry closet” and “Satan told me to make them hold their breath in the bathtub”. You’re child’s survival rate is much higher serving on the front lines in Afghanistan. And with much more dignity. If Amanda does have schizophrenia it was something she was probably going to develop anyway. but how much fucking worse has her mental illness gotten because she’s famous? Maybe the best thing for her is just to spend a few months in a nice quiet psyche ward. She can play checkers and watch the Price is Right and hopefully not be lobotomized and then smothered by an Indian chief.