Miguel’s Leg Drop Might Have Caused Brain Damage

Since you’re not 12 and you’re not a girl, you might’ve missed the Billboard Music Awards and the epic moment when Miguel, who I have no idea who the fuck he is, leapt across a stage divide in a spectacular mid song leap. He came up a bit short and brought his rayon covered hammy down hard on some front row seat fan’s head. He tried to play it off by grabbing her chubby friend and sexing her up, but that only works in bars. The damage was done. Now that leg-whipped girl’s attorney is posturing for a big lawsuit according to TMZ and her obviously plotting lawyer.

 “Some of the difficulties she’s experiencing are cognitive in nature and lead to suspicion of a neurological head injury.”

It’s hard to say who to root for in this situation. The Billboard Music Awards were an utter hocked loogie on the invention of produced musical sound. Miguel I guess hasn’t flying leg dropped fans before but the world might be better off without his ‘unique sound’ for a few years. And those girls they pick to be in the front rows of staged musical performances who act like they’ve just escaped prison and have one night of freedom, they’re not sympathetic characters. This is why we need that remote island where people at odds with each other can be dropped from helicopters and told to fight to the death. I bet that cognitively damaged girl can still fashion a spear. We know Miguel can’t jump. I’d pay to see that.