Kanye West Thinks He’s Steve Jobs

Obnoxious egomaniac and Kardashian-breeder, Kanye West, believes that in the future people will think of him the way they do about Steve Jobs. Yeah, that Steve Jobs. It all started when a simple interview with the New York Times turned into a three day rant where Kanye discussed how awesome he is. That’s not really a surprise. It was when he began comparing himself to Jobs that things got really weird:

“I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay-Z was allowed to become Jay-Z.”

First of all, don’t talk about yourself in the third person, you dick cheese. Only royalty and Bob Dole and people with multiple personalities can do that. Secondly, what does “Steve of Internet” even mean, besides that your grasp of proper grammar is limited? How exactly are you a pioneer of the Internet? Being the subject of so many, “Ain’t Kanye a tool?” posts like this one doesn’t count.  How can one be the “Steve of downtown” if you live up in the Hollywood Hills with your entourage and the girls you bang when Kim gets whiny and won’t put out? As for Jobs’ slow painful death, it’s like God only gave Jobs pancreatic cancer so that Kanye could launch a new line of jeans.