After Earth Sucked, Now What?

When I turned fourteen, my dad got me a baseball glove. He said it was new, but it had the name ‘Chet’ written on the back of it in Magic Marker. I pointed that out to my dad at which point he grabbed the glove out of my hands, slapped it across my head, and screamed at me that he didn’t have a second secret family. Birthdays always sucked in my home. Will Smith is much kinder to his kids. Maybe it’s the Scientology or just the kindness bug, but he bought his kid Jaden a $150 million movie to fuck with. It’s got to be hard for such a successful dad in that moment you realize your kid is not talented. And not like your famous showbiz kid can switch gears and go into accounting or run a Fluff ‘n Fold. He’s going to be in front of the camera somewhere and he’s going to embarrass the shit out of you. Fucking Chet.