Wade Robson Says Michael Jackson Touched His Pee Pee, For Real This Time

A douche named Wade Robson is alleging that Michael Jackson really did molest him when he was little, he just forgot. He previously testified in Michael Jackson’s 2005 child molestation trial that he had not been molested. Wade’s shitty parents used to let little Wade hang out with the weird pop superstar when he was a kid. Wade would often even spend the night, you know, because who wouldn’t want their kid sleeping alone with a creepy grown man? Now Wade claims that he just didn’t remember because he had repressed the memories. While I admit that I might try to forget it if a pop icon stuck a glittery-gloved finger in my butt while he rambled about his daddy beating him, I can’t help but question his motives. Why go after MJ after he’s been dead for four years? Was he afraid that a less decomposed Michael zombie might come after him with his army of the break-dancing undead? The only thing worse than people who exploit children are people who exploit dead child molesters. Actually, that’s not true, but it’s still pretty horrible.