Melissa Satta In A Bikini

May 1, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Melissa Satta left Boston as a teenager because hot girls don’t belong in Boston. City charter mandates girls in the upper echelon move out at least as far as Southern New Hampshire by the age of consent. She moved to Italy where her parents were from and became a big time television hostess and personality because she has an amazing ass and flawless English. This sort of tracks my own personal journey, thought I wasn’t hot and my parents were from a midwestern city where the Italian kids beat my dad up a lot. Still, I like to think we’d have something in common should I ever meet her after sneaking into an airline VIP club one day.

Here’s Melissa in a bikini in Miami. That city has the opposite policy of Boston. Hot girls have to move there when they turn 18. I’ll leave it to you to decide which burg has a better civic plan.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

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