Hey, Girl, Why Are Are You Booing My Movie?

Ryan Gosling, the guy your girlfriend absolutely is thinking about when you’re boning, is being hated on at the Cannes Film Festival. Gosling wasn’t even there to promote his latest movie, Only God Forgives. He was busy being handsome and directing a vanity project in Detroit. It’s probably just as well because audiences hated it. Reaaaallllly hated it. Like, booing and throwing stuff hated. The movie is set in Bangkok and Ryan is a Thai boxing club fighter that has to hunt down the drug guys who killed his brother…which sounds an awful lot like the Jean-Claude Van-Damme classic Kickboxer to me. Anyway, apparently it sucks. Even by French audience standards.

It must be hard for someone like Gosling to be told that the sun doesn’t rise in his ass and set in his dickhole every night. At least he can go to bed each night knowing that lonely chicks are flicking their beans while watching The Notebook for the 400th time.