Amanda Bynes Cops a Plea

Amanda Bynes pled no contest to charges that she was driving with a suspended license. Because, you know, she was fucking driving with a suspended license. This was after she had a couple of hit and runs. It’s hard to see people and other cars when you are busy making kissey faces taking selfies. She will get three years of probation and had to pay $300 in fines, which is about as much as she pays for drinks in an hour.

If this were the end of an episode of Full House and we were going to discuss what we’ve learned from all this, it would be a few things. First of all, if you see Bynes on the freeway…get the fuck away as quickly as possible. In her addled mind she thinks she’s playing 1999’s classic hit and run game Crazy Taxi. Secondly, you shouldn’t let your kids act. Ever. Thirdly, just because you are famous doesn’t mean you can flaunt the law. Sure, the courts won’t really punish you like they do other people, but, a judge will still yell at you and your mom will have to watch.