Will Jay Leno Fuck Jimmy Fallon Over Too? Probably.

NBC officially announced today that Jay Leno is retiring in 2014 and The Tonight Show will pass to Late Night host Jimmy Fallon. Sound familiar? A younger, smarter, funnier host attempts to replace Leno as host of the Tonight Show…that’s always worked out well. First, Leno used backroom tactics and a smear campaign against David Letterman to take over after Johnny Carson retired. This in spite of the fact that Carson wanted Letterman to replace him. Then a couple of years ago Leno retired and let Conan O’Brien take over for a few months…until he swooped in and took back the Tonight Show.

Jay Leno is a big-chinned assmuncher that is racked with jealousy for anyone funnier than him…so, anyone else on TV. He’s basically like a child who beats up his brother and farts in his mouth if he catches him playing with his toy. And, yeah, I did that, so I got a little Leno in me too. Still, it mostly comes down to the petty jealousy and mindless conquest mentality of Hollywood. It makes people successful. Also really fucking annoying.