Tanning Mom Wants You To Fap To Her Leathery Tits

Photo credit: PCN

Patricia Krentcil, the infamous tanning mom, has offered her leathery saggy body for porn. You’ll recall that last year this Oompa Loompa was arrested for child endangerment after taking her 5 year old child to tanning salons. She was later acquitted, but that didn’t stop her from continuing to make people vomit in their own mouths. In her latest scheme, she got an unfortunate photographer to take some nude pics in an attempt to entice porn studio Vivid to casting her in one of their fine films. She says that she hotter than Teen Mom Farrah Abraham who recently made her own sex tape. Pat says,

“I see you are trying to buy this sex tape from this Teen Mom. Well, if you REALLY want to make more MONIES, then I would agree to let you film me and all my hotness…I am far MORE popular and WAY HOTTER than Farrah!  And there’s more … Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper…Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper.”

I’m not easily disgusted, but these pictures turned my stomach. It’s hard to say what part is worse: her busted face, her wrinkled purse-like skin, her frightening fake tits, or the fact that she is old as shit. The combination of all of these factors has created a perfect storm of viewing displeasure. Needless to say, Vivid president Steve Hirsch wasn’t interested, “Unfortunately we don’t have a granny porn section on Vivid.com, but we feel your look would be perfect for radio,”.

These pictures turned me gay.