Richie Sambora Has Personal Issues

Lead guitarist Richie Sambora will not be joining Bon Jovi on their upcoming Because We Can Tour because uh, well, I guess he can’t.

The band released the following vague statement on their website yesterday:

“Due to personal issues, Richie Sambora will not be performing on this upcoming leg. All shows will go on as scheduled.”

Give us the dirty deets! This is a man whose penis has been slippery when wet with both Heather Locklear and Denise Richards, as well as god knows how many girls named Melody and Kacey backstage. He’s already been to rehab for alcoholism in 2007, as well as in 2011 when he was forced to miss 13 shows for the Bon Jovi Live tour. He’s been open about his past addition to painkillers following an injury sustained falling in his bathroom. While snorting lines of cocaine or plowing a chick bent over the sink I hope, not falling in the shower like an old geezer.

The best thing this man can do right now is issue a statement that says “Sorry, I’m so fucking spent from cock punishing a dozen girls half my age.” Else the public might start to worry he just needs a hip replacement. Which is probably the case.