Khloe Kardashian Fired; Jennifer Love Hewitt Hired

It’s not fair that Khloe Kardashian got fired from her X-Factor hostess job simply because she’s an annoying talentless big-boned twat who looks like a melting wax statue on camera. Khloe really needed this gig. Without it, she’s left to prattle her greeting card level slogans on Twitter, wait for Lamar to come home and bang her with his eyes closed, and secretly meet with teams of investigators she’s hired to find her real daddy. That’s not enough for a woman as deep and rich as Khloe.

As if real life didn’t kick Khloe in her elastic waist bands hard enough, it now looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt is coming onto the show. Yeah, she’s better looking, more talented, and actually sort of knows how to sing, but can she carry a piano on her back while making sweet butt love to the first man who tells her how pretty her eyes are? Nay. Khloe got robbed.