Miss Israel Tried To Seduce Barack Obama To Free A Spy

Ever since Barack Obama landed in Israel, politicians over there have been grilling him about why he’s even there and when he’s going to let convicted spy Jonathan Pollard out of prison so he can move to Israel and be celebrated for selling them secrets. In fact, ever since he pleaded guilty in 1987, Pollard has been the subject of a lot of conversations between Israel’s leaders and American presidents, but we haven’t budged on releasing him from his life sentence.

But last night, Obama walked right into a trap straight out of Dolemite, as he invited Miss Israel Yityish Aynaw to his state dinner, after she told a reporter two weeks ago that she was going to ask Obama to release Pollard. Her plan? To flatter his dick into submission.

“I was influenced and inspired by Obama. Like him, I was also raised by my grandmother. Nothing was handed to me on a plate and like him I also had to work very hard and long to achieve things in my life. To this day he inspires me just as he inspires the rest of the world,” she says.

“I couldn’t believe that one of the most influential people in the world, the head of such an important state, would invite someone like me to attend such an important event. It has only just now sunk in and I can understand that it’s happening.” (BBC)

So yeah, she might have asked Obama to free a spy last night or she may have just enjoyed a free meal and smiled for the cameras. But if Obama comes back and makes Pollard a free man, somebody better ask to smell the president’s fingers.