Lindsay borrowed this $1750 dress, immediately destroyed it

If your grandmother were here she would say, “no good deed goes unpunished”, because Lindsay Lohan was all over town last week, desperate to borrow a fancy dress for the amFAR gala, and was only successful when Charlie Sheen arranged for celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch to loan her one. And it was beautiful; a beaded full-length gown from Hollywood favorite Theia worth $1750.

But of course this is a Lindsay Lohan story, so, naturally, within a matter of hours, she was in a bar with a pair of scissors cutting the gown in half.

“She said that the dress had ripped (and) she couldn’t possibly wear it like that — so her stylist friend went to the club bouncer and requested some scissors to repair the torn part of the dress,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But what bouncer has scissors?”

Wouldn’t it be amazing if one day you woke up and read a story where Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a complete cunt? I think my legs would kick out and my hat would pop off my head like in cartoons.