Taylor Swift got dumped because she’s “asexual and wouldn’t put out”

This should have been obvious based on nothing but the awful, frumpy bikinis she always wears, but Taylor Swift is a boring prude. Seriously. Just look at that god damn picture. What’s drier, the sand or her vagina?

That was rhetorical but I bet Harry Styles of ‘One Direction’ would know, because that’s reportedly why he broke up with her.

(Styles) dumped Taylor Swift after growing tired of her “asexual” ways, Radar.com says.
“Taylor is so concerned that the public will think she’s a wh*re because she dates around, that she doesn’t put out. What she doesn’t get is that the guys keep dumping her because she’s being a prude.”

The good news for Taylor is that there are lots of guys who would love to spend the night with a pale and bony stiff who just lies there in bed. The bad news is that they’re necrophiliacs.