this (or Kim Kardashian) is the girl in Kanyes sex tape

There are so many conflicting reports about the Kanye West sex tape that it’s hard to even keep up, especially since I don’t want to keep up because I’d rather picture my grandparents having sex than Kanye and various fat girls. But, for example…

STORY: Kanye and Kim Kardashian hired 25-year-old model Mony Monn to say she’s the girl in the tape because it’s actually Kim, and if that gets out Kim will lose millions in her still-pending divorce from Kris Humphries. (examiner)

THE EXACT OPPOSITE: Mony say’s it’s not her: “I have no idea what you guys are talking about, THERE IS NO such thing as sex tape of me.” (twitter)

STORY: There’s actually two Kanye sex tapes for sale. “We’re told the tapes were both shot several years ago with exes.” (tmz)

THE EXACT OPPOSITE: There’s one tape, “shot sometime shortly before Kanye started dating Kim (in April of this year).” (radar)

So the only thing we can say for certain is that Kris Jenner is cackling like a witch because of all this free publicity for Kim. Seriously, that bitch is evil. She should just move into a castle shaped like a skull and get it over with.

(image source of mony, who really does look a lot like kim = instagram)