naturally, Lindsay will not be prosecuted

I hope no one thought that the city of Los Angeles might do something to Lindsay Lohan after she stole $100,000 in jewelry. Because no, they’re not gonna do shit now that Sam Magid, the guy who told police she robbed him, now says everything is fine. Gosh, I wonder what Lindsay could have done to change his mind.

Lindsay Lohan will not be prosecuted by the L.A. County District Attorney — TMZ has learned the D.A. just rejected the case … there is insufficient evidence to bring a burglary charge against the actress.
According to the D.A., Lindsay and Sam Magid — the rich guy who owns the house that was allegedly burglarized — have had a “longstanding relationship.” 
The D.A. claims Sam did not identify Lindsay as a suspect and the “potential eyewitnesses have refused to become involved.”
Additionally, none of the suspects were found in possession of the stolen property.

I’m honestly right on the verge of stealing some stuff from Lindsay, like her license and a scarf and her perfume, then killing a homeless guy and planting it on him.