Snooki is pregnant

Star ran a story on February 1st saying that Snooki was pregnant, and since she’s probably the last to know about what’s going on with her vagina and who or what has been cuming inside her lately, she vehemently denied that report a few hours later on Opie and Anthony.

Oh but hey guess what.

sources tell the New York Post the trashy “Jersey Shore” guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is indeed pregnant and has plans to bankroll her mommy-to-be status into becoming “the next Kourtney Kardashian.”
We’re told Polizzi, 24, is carrying her first child by boyfriend Jionni LaValle, and is roughly three months along (and) has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines.

Snooki and her boyfriend are both functionally retarded, but her doctor should have known better. He should have had her come in once a week, put her legs in the stirrups and then flushed her out with bleach to make sure something like this never happened.