Kris Humphries has a really good twitter

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Kris Humphries not only had his real twitter but was also writing this identical looking fake one too. So he could talk shit about Kim Kardashian with impunity. Probably not the case though. God forbid these dullards ever do anything even remotely interesting.

Nonetheless, here’s a few highlights…

– “@KimKardashian: I can’t express how proud I am of Rob for getting to the semi-finals!”
I can’t express how shitty you are for divorcing me!

– “@KhloeKardashian: Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you any prettier”
Unfortunately for you, neither does Photoshop

– In the week since announcing our divorce, Kim has been rammed senseless by more black dudes than the Colts’ offense

– People say Kim’s in hiding. I think she’s just catching up on all the black cock she missed out on while we were married.

– “@KhloeKardashian: Woah… Jet Lag is serious stuff”
So is marriage. Might wanna tell your sister.

– “@KhloeKardashian: OMG! Wheat Thins has a new limited time sweet cinnamon flavor. Why am I so excited about this?”
Because you’re an idiot.

– I’m painting my penis black in hopes that Kim will take me back 🙁