Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car

Reese Witherspoon clings to life at a university hospital after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs in an abandoned pool.

Wait. Wait, no. She was bumped by a car in a crosswalk.

The incident occurred during a jog in Santa Monica, Calif., a rep for the actress, 35, confirms to PEOPLE. The driver, an 84-year-old woman, was cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk, say reports.
Explaining that she was not seriously injured, the rep says Witherspoon is “resting comfortably at home.”
Santa Monica police Sgt. Richard Lewis told the Associated Press that Witherspoon was jogging in an unmarked crosswalk when she was struck.

“An unmarked crosswalk”? Isn’t that just “the street”? Reese is a real dumbass. Even if it was a crosswalk, she needs to keep her head on a swivel. It’s not a force field for christs sake.