Paula Abdul demands to be called a gift

According to Paula Abdul, everyone is always out to get Paula Abdul and she’s constantly taken advantage of and abused. She even broke down in tears on her reality show one time and said…

“I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.”

Well apparently this is still a problem because a source tells Us magazine that Paula needs a new assistant, and you can bet your ass they’ll be treating her like the gift she is.

Each assistant must carry and use a tape recorder at all times “because she doesn’t trust her own conversations,” the source says.
“She also makes them check the TiVo for any mention of her and put it on a DVD.”
(They) should also prepare to go through her email — and respond to family and friends as the star herself.
(Paula) also needs constant reminders that she is a “warrior, survivor and gift.”

Hopefully this is true because I agree with Paula a hundred percent. She sang several popular songs between 1988 and 1991, and she deserves our praise and gratitude. That piece of shit Nelson Mandella didn’t sing any popular songs, none, and yet everyone acts like he’s so great. How does that make any sense? It’s way past time that we got our priorities in the right place.