Whitney Houston is in rehab

Whitney Houston has been drinking and doing drugs for about 20 years now, and she’s been in rehab twice, once in 2004 and again a year later, but apparently she still has a problem. So with that in mind she is now…

A) turning herself over to experts and following their every order to address a problem that is obviously out of her control.

or…

B) doing the absolute minimum, because that should be good enough.

Ok now let’s see what the answer is. I bet it’s surprising!

“Whitney Houston is currently in an out-patient rehab program for drug and alcohol treatment,” her rep tells PEOPLE in a statement. “Whitney voluntarily entered the program to support her long-standing recovery process.”

With this program, Whitney still lives at home and does all the same stuff she normally does, in the all the same places, but monitored by a “sober companion”. Which is someone who makes 8 dollars an hour to follow Whiteny around and lecture her. Knowing Whitney, this has success written all over it. She’s probably already cured.