Did Kirstie Alley win Dancing With The Stars?

I didn’t want to ruin the surprise in the headline but last night was the finale for the twelfth season of ‘Dancing With The Stars’, and in the end, it came down to Kirstie Alley, a morbidly obese lump in her 60’s, and Hines Ward, the wide receiver from the Pittsburgh Steelers, one of the best pure athletes to ever play college football, a Super Bowl MVP and two-time Super Bowl champion.

Both had obstacles to overcome. Hines has been dealing with torn ligaments in his left thumb. Kirstie can’t leave the house for extended periods because standard toilets are too small and too flimsy.

But there could be only one winner.

– – SPOILER ALERT – –

Surprisingly enough, Hines Ward, the person who earns millions of dollars for his supreme, world class athletic ability, was a better dancer than this. An old lady who can’t dance by any reasonable definition. All she does is walk around the room at a normal pace, but while lifting her feet slightly higher than usual. It’s like watching someone walk on hot sand set to music.