Angelina Jolie is awesome, part 2

If you’re a dumb selfish whore like Lindsay Lohan, you blow guys you suspect might have coke. More to the point, you never even dream of doing anything selfless unless you just got out of jail and need good publicity. At that point you’d find some kids with dirt on them, call the paparazzi, then never ever go back.

Angelina Jolie on the other hand went to Ramstein Air Force base in Germany four days ago to visit wounded soldiers, but there were no paparazzi pictures and it wasn’t in the press, because she didn’t tell anyone she was doing it. It was the same way when she went to Walter Reed. Because for her, that’s not the point.

By comparison, here’s an impression of the very same trip if it had been Jennifer Lopez and she just sat near someone with a heart monitor: “I SAID TURN IT THE FUCK OFF! THE MIC CAN’T EVEN HEAR ME BEING NICE WITH ALL THAT GOD DAMNED BEEPING!”