Katrina Bowden is the Sexiest Woman Alive

The mincing queens over at Esquire magazine have announced, prissily no doubt, that 30 Rock star Katrina Bowden (the granddaughter of legendary Florida State football coach Bobby Bowden) is your 2011 Sexiest Woman Alive. I guess they do this twice a year now. With a The and a Your.

Katrina is obviously pretty (though she doesn’t have big tits so she’s dead to me), so whatever, I can see how she won, but what sucks is that Esquire doesn’t have the article about her up yet. Those closeted dorks always find new ways of describing hot girls with disturbingly queer and antiquated phrases, like in this one with Mary Louise Parker, or to be outright weird, like this one with Christina Hendricks. This magazine is so gay they might as well just end every article by writing, “toodles!”

(i made up that florida state thing, btw. that would have been neat though.)