Charlie Sheen is exhausting

Charlie Sheen is impossible to keep up with these days, because when you do that much coke you have boundless energy, but this mornings headline is that his wife Brooke Mueller filed for sole custody of their two-year-old twin boys yesterday, then got a restraining order against Sheen after he allegedly told her “I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom.” *

That would be illegal, so Brooke got a restraining order preventing him from going near her or their boys, so police went to Sheens house last night and removed them. He told the Today show this morning…

“This is not about emotions, not about ego — it’s about getting very focused, getting very much in touch with what I have to do to complete the task of bringing these two beautiful young men back to the home they deserve to be raised in. There’s more love, compassion, support, childcare and everything else you could possibly want for a child here in this lovely home — it’s not a house, it’s a home.”

Holy Shit there were kids in that house this whole time? Oh my fucking god, Charlie Sheen shouldn’t be allowed to raise a cactus, much less two human beings.

(* Sheen may or may not have really said that, but he does love bringing the girls parents into it. In 2007 he wrote an email to then-wife Denise Richards and told her to “go cry to your bald mom, you fucking loser.” Her mom was bald because she had cancer, by the way. In 2008 he told Denise, “I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom.” I think he took that one from a greeting card.)