probably the worst Academy Award telecast ever

The 2011 Academy Awards were last night, and the big winner was The Kings Speech, the inspiring story of king who sits in his castle and eventually gives a speech on the radio without fucking it up.

The big loser was True Grit, which not only went 0 for 10, but had it’s ending broadcast on the air when Oscar producers needed 5 seconds of footage for an editing award and decided to show the part where the bad guy dies and the surprise person responsible for it.

Another big loser was Kirk Douglas, who terrified the shit out of everyone and then wouldn’t leave. Child birth videos are more comfortable to watch than that was, and probably have better jokes.

But the biggest loser of all was everyone. Every single person who had to watch two actors with no improve skills or experience host a live awards show, which led to what many are calling the worst Oscar telecast ever.

Hollywood Reporter: “In what could go down as one of the worst Oscar telecasts in history, a bad and risky idea — letting two actors host — proved out in spectacularly unwatchable fashion on the biggest of all nights for the film world.
This year, the Oscars hit a new low. Like it fell into a hole.”

Variety: “…stiff, awkward banter between James Franco and Anne Hathaway throughout. While Melissa Leo dropped an ‘f-bomb’ early on, the ‘f’ words best describing the proceedings would be ‘flat,’ ‘fumbling’ and ‘familiar’.”

LA Times: “Overall, the evening had an oddly business-like feel, a mind-numbing evenness that was exacerbated by the relentless predictability of the winners, and the fact that none of the acting winners were played off no matter how long their ‘thank-yous’ went.”

Deadline: “…the worst snorecast ever. Emails are pouring into me now saying the same thing. So I’m not the only one dissing the Academy tonight.”

E!: “Worst Oscars Ever? This was sizing up to be everything the Oscars are not supposed to be: clunky, amateurish, and pretty much lacking in actual entertainment value for those of us not picking up awards.”

I really don’t even blame Hathaway and Franco because hosting a live TV show is actually really hard and they had no business even being asked. This show was produced and directed as poorly as it possibly could have been done. They literally did everything wrong. In hindsight it’s shocking they even managed to get it on in color.

(full list of winners here)