Adrianne Palicki is our new Wonder Woman

Deadline says today that Adrianne Palicki of Friday Night Lights has not only won the role of Wonder Woman in the new NBC series, but she was the only actress even invited to test for it.

Unfortunately that’s not Palicki in the headline. That’s Denise Milani. Palicki is apparently a good actress, HitFix seems to think she’s perfect for this, but it won’t really matter.

Let’s not kid each other; Wonder Woman is pretty useless. Her only weapon is a lasso. A rope, with a hoop on the end. You ever been in a bad neighborhood and thought, “man, if only I had a rope with a hoop on the end right now.” If your baby calf is running away, there’s no one more qualified to help than Wonder Woman. Other than that she’s basically a tall Hooters waitress who took some tae-bo classes.

This show is actually fascinating because it could be one of the most shockingly bad and confusing shows to ever air on television. The Daily Beast got a copy of the script for the pilot, and suffice to say that Diana Prince/Wonder Woman is a bit different now.

Los Angeles-based mega-billionaire Diana—who collects planes and a multitude of transforming aircraft called “Ultimates” (no invisible plane in sight here)—as she attempts to take down an evil pharmaceutical company run by morally corrupt scientist Veronica Cale, who is mass-producing a human-growth hormone that is causing its users, mostly black inner city youth, to die. Along the way, she tackles criminals, a Senate subcommittee, and a broken heart, the latter courtesy of lost love Steve Trevor.

She also has some third identity; “mousy assistant Diana Price”.

Go ahead and read that again you want. You can read it every day until you’re a hundred and it’s still not gonna make an ounce of sense. I was hoping they’d at least cast some hot piece of ass with big tits. Like they did with Lynda Carter. I’d watch a home movie about my girlfriend being gangbanged if they stuck a topless picture of Lynda Carter in the corner. But no. No they didn’t do that.