morning headlines

SKINS – has now lost so many sponsors (Taco Bell, Wrigley, Subway, Foot Locker, L’Oreal and Shick) due to its subject matter, it’s now in danger of being canceled. Can’t they just get new sponsors? Sponsors who aren’t so uptight? Like tequila, or the morning after pill. Or a tequila with the morning after pill in it. (fox)

PENELOPE CRUZ AND JAVIER BARDEM – are now the parents of a baby boy, with Penelope giving birth the same day Javier was nominated for an Academy Award as Best Actor. Because of course she couldn’t let him be the center of attention for even 5 minutes. Selfish cunt. (huff post)

JESSE JAMES – is the subject of two more Nazi related pictures (as he was about a year ago), though these aren’t as bad. Or as good, depending on how you feel about Nazis. (us)

JOE MANGANIELLO – of True Blood is a leading candidate to play Superman in the reboot from producer Christopher Nolan and director Zach Snyder, and I’m sorry but no one named Joe Manganiello should be playing Superman. Or is part of the re-imagining to have a Superman who wears bronzer and “ice” in his ear, and instead of flying he drives a Mitsubishi Eclipse around. “Hey, hello, excuse me. I’m bein friggin Superman over here huh, so how about you show a little friggin respect.” (la times)

JAMIE CHUNG – stars in the upcoming Sucker Punch, and now she’s on the cover of Complex. I’ve said this a million times but Asian girls are just better than regular girls, in every way, at everything. And Jamie is a good example. If we ever had sex I would absolutely try to get her pregnant so she could never leave me. (complex)