friday afternoon headlines

ORLANDO BLOOM AND MIRANDA KERR – had a boy. And I bet that handsome bastard has already gotten more pussy than I have this year. (us)

LINDSAY LOHAN – has been handed a $135,000 Range Rover Onyx, to borrow “for an undisclosed length of time”, by a Beverly Hills dealer. The plan of course is for people to see Lindsay driving the car and then go see them and say, “I want one of those cars like the one Lindsay wrecked.” (radar)

PETRA NEMCOVA – is engaged, 6 years after her last fiance died in the 2004 Thailand tsunami. I’m sure that wasn’t her fault, but I would still go somewhere like Omaha for a honeymoon. They have a lovely zoo. (daily mail)

JANE KRAKOWSKI – is pregnant. Ewwww. Everything about this story is gross. (people)

JWOWW – says she was under anesthesia when her ex took naked pictures of her. Ahhh yes, the old twilight trick. Another good one is to make them think you’ve taken a loved one as a hostage. (hollywood life)