Madonna looks “puffy and bloated”

December 1, 2010 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Madonna was in Mexico City yesterday for the opening of a Hard Candy gym, and though she usually looks ripped to hell, this time the Sun says she looked “puffy and bloated”.

Mostly they’re referring to her face, and they’re right. She’s got those little beady eyes, and her face is all fat and pale and round. I think she might be related to Mr. Pringle. And then there’s the way her gooey legs ooze out over the sides of those boots meant for a 19-year-old, and the elaborate system of straps under her clothes pulled so tight they’re turning her fingers purple.

Oohh man, I’m at a Starbucks right now, I never should have opened these. I hope I don’t get a hard on!

(source = splash news online)

Tags: madonna

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