Julia Roberts is a moron

Julia Roberts is a mean old bitch (as best illustrated in this email from her neighbor in Malibu) and you can tell as much in this commercial for an Italian coffee company that she got $1.5 million for.

First of all, she couldn’t be bothered to say even one word, which by the end makes things really awkward and uncomfortable. Say something dummy! What are you, autistic? It’s probably because she’s too dumb to say anything in Italian, even “pizza” or something like that, without fucking it up beyond all comprehension. She would say “PIE-tza” with that insufferable drawl and then cackle like an asshole for 10 minutes. So the director was like, “ok dipshit can you at least stand there and not fall down? Holy Christ it’s like working with a monkey.”

But that’s the off camera stuff. The commercial itself is about Julia being hired to do a job but she’s gonna pout and not do it until everyone kisses her ass and caters to her every whim. Oh, gee, I wonder how they came up with that idea.