finally. a Kim Kardashian mastercard.

Credit and debit cards have become a staple of everyday life, but I’ve always wanted one that I could also jack off to. Well now somebody has made my dream a reality! The New York Post says…

Kim Kardashian (will) be at a party tomorrow to promote the launch of a prepaid credit card for children … the Kardashian Prepaid MasterCards are being marketed as helping parents keep their kids safe by allowing them to monitor their teens’ spending through their cellphones.
“Teens do not spend their money as their parents think they do,” a rep said. “And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my son a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card.”

This is like when you see an ad and some lady is massaging her back with something that is clearly a dildo. Stop pretending. The only people buying this are lonely perverts who wanna get the motor running while they use it to subscribe to a porn site. And if my card isn’t here Friday like they promised I’m gonna be pissed.