Monday morning headlines

JESSICA SIMPSON – sang with a group of U.S. combat veterans last week in NYC for an upcoming holiday special, but her dad Joe cut it because the vets wore camouflage, and he thought they clashed with what Jessica wore. If Joe wanted Jess to look good, the vets should have dressed up as Twinkie the Kid. Fatties face would have been beaming. (popeater)

CHELSEA HANDLER – went on twitter and said Nick Cannon wasn’t funny, and so he called her “angry ugly whitetrash” and said 50 Cent made her tattoo “G-Unit…on her balls”. In other words, he proved her 100% right. (huff post)

JACKASS 3D – made an astounding $50,000,000 this weekend, setting an all time record for an October opening, and more than doubling it’s $20M budget. ‘Red’ was second with $22.5M. “If ‘Red’ doesn’t have a midget in a little cowboy outfit getting kicked in the balls, how good could it really be?”, people apparently said. (hollywood reporter)

JESSICA LOWNDES – filmed some scenes for ‘90210’ in a bikini, and before anyone asks about the rumors, I don’t kiss and tell. So I’m not gonna say I fucked her, I’m not gonna say I didn’t fuck her. I’m just not gonna address it. Quite frankly, that’s between me and Jessica. (pacific coast)